I had a bad dream last night.
It was the one where I won.
(even if it was just temporarily)
People say they have nightmares, where maybe people die or get limbs chopped off in some awesome jackass stunt.
And all I have are repressed wishes that come true. Isn't that a whole lot sadder?
Feels like this wish finds its way to the surface of my sleep every week. When I think it's gone, it is. But when I don't think it will come back, it does. It catches me off guard. It catches every moment during the day, every fleeting second when I'm reminded of it, gathers them together, and tells me at night that I can't escape.
But all I can do is try.
Dad tells me I need to stop talking to people. Stop IMing so much, not because I'm not getting any work done,
but because I won't help me.
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