waited for days like this to come, days when something would finally come along and destroy us. "Oh, but it's not the end?" I can't even see how it isn't the end. We've got 2 damn months of school left and I'm not even worth the effort. In fact, anyone else would do the same. So I should just quit and go over the counter to solve my problems instead.
I have often wondered how my dad and my mom got married. They're exact opposites, mostly due to my mom. If that makes any sense. But then i look at my life and I realize, why would I marry somebody like myself? This is the way to go, this is how it must be if there's anything right I can do.
I don't think we can make those others love us. Because we can't give enough love to them. You can't ask for value if there isn't something inside of you, telling you how much you need them.
I know I can't because I don't trust them. Everyone I've given my trust to has failed me, and I've failed them. And the ones who haven't just don't understand.
And it frightens me, now that I think about it, how centered he is on what matters to him. I know I'm not. Carving out a path of destruction by putting all his eggs in one basket. I just hope I don't drop any, but look at me. I'm so weak. I've always been weak. How can I pick myself up and salvage anything that I have if I'm still lagging one thought, one person behind?
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